Flashbacks

Hello hello hello,
Don´t really know why I decided today was a good day to write something on my blog that I never write anything on... But the last days I have been missing america a lot. I always miss it, but not as much as I do right now... The other night, like two days ago I found this thing called "See friendship" on facebook, and I just put my and Carlis name in it and read all the facebook posts we ever wrote to each other, and then i did the same thing with Jordan and some of my friends in LIncoln, and it just amazed me. I was there for a year, I have been living in Sweden for 18 years and there for one, still I can say I love them, my family there and friends there just as much as my friends here in Sweden. How is that possible? I mean, how do you get so close to people that fast? 
A person like Car, she is my sister, best friend, soulmate, she means the world to me! And Jaycee, she is the best friend I could ever ask for! How is it possible that it all just fell in place so great? I never believed in anything, faith God you name it, but as much as i didnt believe in that, I cant trust this to be just a coincident! Its to big to be something that just happened! 
As I wrote I dont know what this blogpost is about, just felt like I needed to write it somewhere... 
I remember the day I left America, it was probably the worst day of my life! The day before leaving Pioche I had to say goodbye to Kourtney and Bailey at first, and it was horrible! They became two of my bestest friends I have ever had! Kourtney was the perfect mix of funny and smart, and Bai, she was just BaiHoe Screwed and the most hilariuos person I have ever met! I cried ten rivers that day! And the same night Brookie Jayc me and Thea went for a drive around Pioche, the last one:( And we picked a song that was supossed to be our song! We belong together was the name of the song, and that is so true, we really belong together! Then the next day we went to Vegas and that night me and Jordan were sleeping in the same room and we both just cried for hours, until we had to wake up at like 5 in the morning to get me to the airport, I didn´t think I had anymore tears, but when Loni hugged me goodbye it killed me, she wouldn´t let me go, and I couldn´t just leave!:( I had to say bye to my two families at the same time, my real family, the Phillips that I love more than I can explain, and the Wadsworth, Kathy that always took care of me, that always had her home open for me! Jaycee that was my best friend and sister! And Brookie that came with us to vegas, my bestest<3. I cant explain that feeling, I cried all the way to New York, for 6 hours, then I called, and Gerri and Car told me Loni had been crying until she had fell asleep ten min earlier. Heartbroken! I cried for another hour and then I couldnt cry more cuz i knew i was going home to my swedish home, where my lovely family was waiting for me, that i missed so much, and where my best friends where waiting for me! And where my perfect bestest Emma and Ellen were waiting for mee. And thats probably a part of why I am writing this today, Emma is not here! She left for the states a couple of months ago, and I can feel everyday there is something missing, when i see something i wanna tell her about, when i go out to party, when i am at home, all the time i can feel emma missing her in stockholm! Luckily i know she is having the time of her life over there and i know she will be home soon! 
I´m gonna skype with Thea now, that I had to say goodbye to in Stockholm 1,5 year ago, horrible! But i am gonna talk to her now, and then i might have more to write here, its never ending... Last day I wrote this to all of my lovely people:
Goodbye are not forever
Goodbyes are not the end
They simply mean I´ll miss u
Until we meet again!
<3

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